IMPERVIOUSNESS:

Being Impervious to the other is another form of disconfirmation. Impervious messages deny the other person’s self-experience; deny the feelings of the other person; deny the other person’s perceptions; deny the other person’s ability to speak for himself (you speak for the other – put words in his mouth).

Imperviousness includes belittling or trivializing the other person's feelings.

Dr. White from the previous example could disconfirm the student, Amy, by being impervious.

Dr. White could . . .

• Deny Feelings: "You’re not really that upset about this, Amy."
• Deny Perceptions: "A C- is not a bad grade on an exam, you don’t have anything to worry about."
• Speak for the Other: "Let me guess, you think the exam was too hard, you didn’t have enough time to study, you thought you did better . . ."