Coaching Children in Handling Everyday Conflicts

This newsletter article from the Responsive Classroom provides an example of a teacher assisting two second grade students as they work to resolve a conflict in the moment. Five basic skills are focused on to help build children’s capacity for conflict resolution. These include:
– Cooling off when upset
– Speaking directly to each other
– Speaking assertively, honestly, and kindly
– Listening carefully to others and accurately paraphrasing their words
– Proposing solutions and agreeing on a solution to try

The author explains the importance of using the teachable moment: “Beginning with the first days of the school year, students have predictable conflicts about sharing materials, choosing work partners, or deciding whom to play with. These are times when you can teach the basic skills by guiding the children in navigating a difficult interpersonal moment. You’ll send a strong message about how disagreements will be handled in your class. You’ll also give children opportunities to experience themselves as problem-solvers in situations that really matter to them.”

Listening without formulas

15-page Powerpoint presentation given at the Sustaining Conflict Resolution Education: Building Bridges to the Future conference in Fairfax VA, which discusses the use of reflective listening, I-messages and paraphrasing in conflict resolution.